Going out

Well, after spent half a year with lesbian dramas and youtube videos. I finally realized that the cyber world has more to offer that THOSE!!

Right, I just surfed around and found heaps of interesting sites. Here are some;
Fringer.org
TED talk
Transparent.com

Also, I deleted some bookmarks that I don't really follow, just thought they are cool. So this is the beginning of honest me, love it, by the way. I'm gonna fill myself up with some good stuff :) Be interesting & fulfill.

What does it mean by getting old?

I'm 27 years old. Sometimes I feel, I'm very old, I mean 27 is very old. How can people live in this world for 27 years and still know nothing and stupid! TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS, no kidding, it's forever!

Imagine being with one guy for 27 years, what an effort!
Yes, I've been living with ME, myself for 27 years, but still I don't know myself well. However, I am getting to know myself better gradually.

I have my career plan as I did had my plan of working and living abroad when I was about to choose my university. Also something push me away from medicine from what is believed to be the best.

I thought about working in consultancy and finally mineral economics related. It may be possible that it's my way. I will go for it. You don't have to be master, follow the way it's supposed to be the best path. Just follow your heart, you don't need to be the best to be happy. Do what you think it's good for you.

Now, I realized that I don't need to be feel unsure or lost, it's just my style to do things and if I don't like it I can make it clearer myself.

Thinking back of what I've read, love them. I want to be that book worm again :)

Let's check this one. บทสัมภาษณ์ Khun ภิญโญ ไตรสุริยธรรมา. ขอบคุณเจ้าของบล็อกด้วยค่ะ ที่รวบรวมบทความเหล่านี้ คอเดียวกัน

Happy growing old, happy being yourself :)

Room in Rome

Loving strangers
Loving strangers
Loving strangers, oh ohhh

Russian red.

This movie is about 2 women, one night stand, talk, intimate feeling, beautiful sex -- making love and falling in love. I watch it in Thai and russian. I got some words like eto, onna, cpacibo, paka. kinda funny.

I don't know but at this moment, I'm totally in to you. Whatever I watch or listen, I think you my beautiful time. And as in the song, knowing that you just forget it. I just dream to see you as soon as I can. But I will be better and I will have to try hard to be myself, my loving one not the needy one.

Hope hope you will fall for me. Just a dream. My feeling will fade in few months but it's nice to dream of you.

Postcard

I'm watching Sugar Rush and trying to finish it all this morning. Few hours ago, I decided to write her a postcard. I really love to write her. I love most of the thing I knew about her, really, that sounds like a total dreamer or kinda loser who has never had an affair with anybody. Maybe I am but it's real, I had a feeling for her and maybe still I have.

Lip service

I watched Lip service, bbc 3 lesbian series, last night till this morning. The episode 1 is very good but a bit short. The story went fast, the character developed so fast. You get less chance to be familiar with the characters and to love them.

However, there were Frankie, the kinda butch with family problem, and Cat, Frankie bestfriend which was persuaded by Frankie to leave her girlfriend for Frankie, the Frankie left her 2 years ago for a classic reason - she thought she didn't deserve her. Cat is the one who can handle Frankie. She knows her very well and Frankie kinda surrender for Cat.

I feel this way with my ex - now my bestfriend. She knows me very well and knows how to handle me. She always led the way relationship went and made decision. In contrast, she handle everything by herself and her family. I rarely took part in her decision. I even didn't know that she wanted to be a doctor. We didn't have a discussion about life the other part other than love and canoodling. I felt a bit out of her way even I was sure that she loved me so much.

I was being myself with her but not totally. With my other ex I was myself but a bit different way.

Whenever I am confused or weak, it is very good to talk to her. We are really just friend. But somehow she still win me over.

Just miss you :)

confession of Ruj for Ruj and mushroom soup

 To be cut

My mushroom soup made of the certain random inspiration. It was just there, always in me. I realized that I'm not totally done but I'm happy. I hope nothing -  I have good memories I have something real at least for me.

I'm not ready for the new thing yet, dunno when but not yet. Need to be clean first before I can be filled. Wait for that day to come.

Now it's time to be adult.

I got to know myself a lot better. I am what I am - when you don't know what you're doing, that's you. -

True, but I want to know what I'm doing, I want to be concious. I want to really work hard to achieve something. Not just get it because of luck as I had all those good things. But never the best, never have done thing fully efficiently fully utilised my ability - or I never have that much ability????

The birds sing the whole day, they are still singing now.
The memories are not mine.
There re never be a summer time or autumn.
But I learn Autumn is tastety.

Some people take something way too serious, in the same thing, some do forget.

It's all about dream but the begining was real.
It's all about how you love yourself how you like yourself which never be really yourself.
Believe me, there is no YOU. Somebody in the other side of the world shares this with you, or may be your neighbour. Or even many people share your identity. It's not something unique nor special.

I will wake up this afternoon and give myself another try. ( 27 x 365 + ... )

Need some catalysts.

Good bye good morning good sleep.
Hellllllllo     пока блини


My mushroom soup made of inspiration.



The birds sing.


Some people take something way too serious, in the same thing, some do forget.

Or even many people share your identity. It's not something unique nor special.


I will wake up this afternoon and give myself another try.


Need some catalysts.

пока блини

My friend

I think I'm done with you :) That's good for me and for you, it should not have started. Just some moments of loniness? Just confused? I don't care anymore, it was one of my love and it was good and I learned a lot.

Would be great to have you in my life, dunno, one day. I will see you again and I will be lost again in the world of 2 like-mined people. But a some kinda friends.

Wanna tell you but sometimes, just few sentences are hard to write. I will.

Today I had a look in your kinda facebook which you just open to everybody. I saw your notes, your photos. Guess what, I think we had the same test on the photos and also your ex looks so cute to me. Is this rude to see others' facebook without permission?

Miss those good time, it was meant to be :) [I got deja vu when I was with you!]

almost lover

Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind images

You sang me spanish lullabies

The sweetest sadness in your eyes clever trick

Well i?d never want to see you unhappy

I thought you?d want the same for me

Goodbye my almost lover

Goodbye my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me in the shade

And when you left you kissed my lips

You told me you would never ever forget these images no

Well i?d never want to see you unhappy

I thought you?d want the same for me

Goodbye my almost lover

Goodbye my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean

I cannot try the streets at night

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind

So you're gone and i'm haunted

And i bet you are just fine

Did i make it that easy to walk

Right in and out of my life?

Goodbye my almost lover

Goodbye my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Why can't you just let me be?

So long my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do